I was watching The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, one of my favorites. Because I can identify with the characters. She falls in love with a ghost, who helps her write a book, she forever loves him, and in the end they are together. And like me, I fell in love with someone who is like a ghost, who because of him and the love I wrote my first book, about a forever love....and with him, we dream of someday being together... and we both know that one day that will be.
In the movie, the Ghost Captain tells Mrs Muir, "I'm here, because you believe I'm here...keep believing" then the phone rang...the familiar ring, that I love to hear... it was a surprise, and i realized it was because of something I did, that I hadn't done in a long time.
When I was so happy, when everything was beautiful "in our eyes" I was so happy, doing all I could do to fly.... and because I had made a decision to be different... things were now different. So many times in life, we do things, to satisfy others, or our conscience, but in all reality.....it is only killing the best part that lives within us.
After our talk, laughing, reminiscing, and hearing the happiness that I cause him to have... I realized... if the me he loves goes away, he also goes away. I think I have to stay alive... in my thoughts, in my actions...and do whatever the heck makes me the happiest... because in that happiness, i am who I want to be... i'm not shielding from the world, what I at times want to fix. But, for now, I can't fix anything, I can only continue... and use whatever it is, to make me happy.... and the happy me, will attract whatever is meant to be. I once said, that I used him, to be better... as i wrote that I wonder, why I am not strong enough to just be better alone... who knows.... but, in using him... and not in a negative way.... but to be greater than I feel, alone.......
The other day I read in Paulo Coelho's new book Adultery... i read "to love forever, is to live forever".... and since my book is about a forever love... It hit me like a brick... and i realized that in any relationship, that it's just that simple.... if we love forever, we live forever...yeah....if we forever keep that fire of love that we create together alive....we will always love each other... and not with the "have to" kind of love... or because of a commitment...but we love like there is no tomorrow...because every tomorrow will be filled with love....
So... I again realized today....that I'm who he fell in love with, the childlike me, the creative me... the happy me...the determined me...the successful me...the fighter me....the I'd do anything in this world because I love you me.... Just me.... And i can't stop being the me he fell in love with or a part of us will die.... once again he's awoken the sleeping beauty in me.... and made me realize how to be happy.... and like I always tell him... "everything happens for a reason" "todo pasa por algo" <3 <3 <3 <3
They say, if you think of something every day, never let it go. Again today I realize what I have to do.... and that's be my best.... and use (in a positive sense) all that cause me to be my best, that give me that boost.... to be better, then again, nothing will be impossible.
It's what we all have to do. Find something that makes us fly. And in flying, we will arrive where we're meant to be. I realize also I can't wait, for just one thing. I have to be open minded and allow what is meant to be for me, come to me. So many times we close ourselves to things because we're so hard headed and only want one thing. But when we close our minds, it keeps good things from arriving. So.... we have to make a decision... What is it we want? going broad...open minded, we have to make that decision... then use the thing that makes us fly to be better...especially if we can't do it alone...until we are strong enough to do just that or until we land at a place where we are satisfied and happy. Everything will be ok... Everything is already ok...
Time to work...and accomplish all my dreams...
Fly high...and happy travels! <3 <3 <3 <3
No comments:
Post a Comment