He had the sweetest sad eyes. he came into Wilson's Leather shop at Cinderella City, where I worked. He walked in with an entourage of about 8 girls. He was pretty popular back then. And oh so cute. I was 21, he was 19. He flirted and I was probably shy and embarrassed. Heck he was with all those pretty girls, and he was so cute, how was I supposed to act at 21?
On the weekend, we went to The Pub to dance, and I was dancing on the dance floor and I saw him near the entrance with his friends. I saw him watching me. I was with my friends and in those days wasn't very daring. Later on he made his way to me and we talked. I don't remember what we said, I just knew he was super cute and had swag... swag was not a word we used in those days... but he was cool and oh, so sweet.
We started seeing each other. He was in the South Side Steels, a gang of cool guys who lived near Ruby Hill. he lived on Navajo... on the corner is what I remember. He was fun, we went to south side parties, and danced the smurf on those raised dance floors, that looked like wood pallets and we cruised and listened to SOS band, Midnight Star, he liked Al Jarreau, and he was who got me into my first metal song. Foolin by Def Leppard. He took me to meet his parents, and his sisters, who were all so pretty. I don't think his mom liked me. But, she collected clowns, and they were beautiful and it's when I started collecting them. He was fun, and going out with him and his friends was a little wild, kind of reminded me of the Eastsiders in Springs. Hey, I always loved the bad boys. We dated for awhile, had fun. One of those kinda young love romps while the music is playing becoming the soundtrack of your memories.
Then one day he came to me and told me his ex was pregnant. It was the end of us. I was sad, but not heart broken. And I believe I wasn't heartbroken because I knew what he was doing was the right thing to do. And I respected him more for doing it, because I truly believed at that time of my life, there was no other choice. I never got in my mind, all the scenarios that could have played out if he hadn't gone back with her.
I saw him a couple times after that once when my car was getting fixed, he saw me at the station and stopped. I gave him my number. Back in the day, when you moved to a new place, your phone number usually changed. We didn't really have ways of keeping up with someone if they moved a lot. And that's what I did. He called me that night, but I was with the new guy I was seeing. He wanted me to leave, and go see him. I said I couldn't and told him why. I always regretted not leaving that night. The last time I saw him, I was on 26th and Sheridan, going east. It was a Sunday. I was at the stop light. And he was in a truck, passenger side, driving down that hill... He saw me, and instinctively reached out as to grab me, hanging his head and arms out of the window, then reaching back toward me as he got further away.. and I instinctively reached out, stretching my arm out the length of the windshield. I wished so much that I had been alone that day. But what would I have done... who knows.
Then I fell in love and got married, and A few years later I moved to San Luis, but always wanted to find him just to say hi. Back in those days it wasn't so easy to find someone. Then came Spain, and then MIami, and now back to Colorado, I used to think I'd have my cousin call him for an estimate and I'd be there when he'd show. But I never made time or had the nerve.
Yesterday, my cousin sent me a screenshot of a post that said another South Sider had died. It was him. I looked at his pictures, and how he aged, and how the sweetest sadness remained in his eyes. I loved his eyes, and how he looked at me. Only 2 men have ever looked at me like that, Tippy and My Miguel. I don't know if what I saw was sadness or was it desire... i'm still trying to figure that with My MIguel, who hypnotizes me when he looks at me. He treated me sweet, and I know he liked me like I liked him... a lot.
I won't forget him, heck i hadn't in all these years. I wrote the other day, that there are people who leave huge marks on our lives and in our hearts. And I believe those who brought music to me, and were a part of all those songs, made an even bigger impact on me, than any others. And some were only around for such a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things. And, he was one of the very few who did... he at one time was the sweetest love song, and now, there's no one else to look for. No more unfinished business or another hi or goodbye. I always said, he was the one who got away. The only one... The past is gone... May he rest in peace, and may he fly with the angels.
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