It's kinda funny...

I met someone the other day...who reminded me of someone I love very much.   He resembled him, he was from the same country as my friend.  And he was also a Sagittarius.

I was psyched...thinking, i could maybe replace him with this other person.

He had to be like us...all Sagittarius...and because my first friend and I were so much alike...i thought maybe this other guy would be too.

After a few days...talking...learning about each other's likes, dislikes, etc.   His true colors started to show.

Ok...he is in Spain, where the economic crisis is bad.    I understand and feel bad for them.

So, this guy isn't doing well financially and he has a bad back.

I'm very compassionate and understanding of these things.

Yesterday, i asked him how he was.  He said he was worse than the day before, so I asked why.   He said he didn't have to explain his situation every day, I should know already.  Ok.   I tried to let him know, i thought something bad had happened.

Then, later I said, how are you...he said do i have to tell you again.   Then I finally said...even when I don't have a lot of work...I am worrying...I am sad...and someone asks me how I am, I always say fine.   He said, that i was lying to people if I said I was fine and I wasn't.   I said, why do I have to tell people about my negatives...when most people don't care...and if they are people that care, after you say it so many times, they get tired of hearing it.

So...then i got a message on my messenger and the ring tone I have a short clip of my favorite song.  He says...come on, now you're going to start playing that music.  It all sounds the same.   Ok...this had me pissed off already.   My music is such a big part of me...and anyone who knows me...knows that I listen to all different music...but there are some songs, that you will always hear if you're around me enough.

So then...he starts talking to me about my book.  And about the area I am basing it on...giving advice on the decade my characters are living in.   But as we're talking I pull out a book of an author from the same area he is from.  I see a name in the book, that I really like for a woman in my book.  Not the main character but someone else.  He said, if you use that name, they'll know you are lying.  Ok.    Then he tells me to find famous people from the area I am interested in, I do that.  He pulls out an artist and tells me to find her. I do.  But on the page of pictures I found the most gorgeous man.   He is perfect for the main character of my book.  I get super excited...and want to know who this man is.  I tell him about it...then he laughs at my character and what he is.  So...strike 2.   Big strike 2.

Then I start looking for women and men's names in the region to find what is most common in that area.    He's sending me movies to watch, regarding the dress of the decade I am interested in.  But my mind...is always wandering, and so i start saying names on the list...hey I was intrigued.

He said, enough with the names....watch the movie.   I finally told him....you are so negative...you are giving me a headache.  He backed off.   But I couldn't take it anymore...

What it made me realize, is not everyone is alike.  Of course..that's a no-brainer...but someone looking like someone else...speaking like that person...and born the same month... and they're nothing alike.

Yeah i guess I'm trying to replace, what i'm leaving behind.  But days like this...make me not want to leave it behind.

There are few people who understand me.   And when I find someone that understands my quirkiness.... i found a friend for a lifetime.

My music is such a big part of me...my first friend...tolerates my music...he has learned to like what I listen to, he knows how it affects me.   He never has anything negative to tell me.

He loves...the fact that i'm always thinking...always figuring something out...always finding a story to bring to life...in words...in my actions.

I can be me with him....and everything I have inside escapes...i don't have to hold anything back.  I can run and play...i can laugh and cry...i can dream....and he loves every part of it.   He brings the best of me out of me....   He has given me so much passion for so much in this life...

There's a song...by Laura Pausini...Escucha Atento (listen attentively)  There is part in the song that says - a nadie mas dije amor....desde entonces ninguno encontre que se parezca a ti, que se parezca a mi...por dentro.   busque en cada boca entontrar tu nombre...     I haven't called anyone else my love...and since then i haven't found anyone who is like you..who is like me....on the inside.   I looked in everyone to find your name....

Its what I've done...   I am searching for his twin...  Someone who can tolerate me.  I'm not that difficult..but someone who can tolerate my dreams and aspirations...who supports me in my ideas...who doesn't put me down, because I want to start a nontraditional business...who doesn't think my ideas for books...are silly or stupid.  Someone who wants the best for me...and encourages all that i do.

Someone who loves me from the inside out...someone who I can run and play with...who I can lay on the bed and look at the ceiling...and together we can dream..   Someone "who tries" to understand me.   In that, I will give all my heart, all my soul....i will give everything.   It's so funny....that's all it takes for me to fall in love.   Funny huh...

The other day, I was with my son and his ex-girlfriend and I was talking..dreaming...you know...i was being me.   She said something like "that's weird"   initially i got a little on the defensive...and then said...creativity to some is weird...and then i used Johnny Depp...he's weird I said, but i believe he is creative.     Usually some artists, writers, musicians, actors are weird...they have to be to bring out things that entertain the "normal"....

I love being weird...and i love more when someone knows exactly where i'm coming from.   I have many special people in my life who understand me.   And who I can speak to from my heart...because their hearts and dreams and ideas escape too...  I actually think it's something special.  So when i meet people who have this in them...i am so intrigued and entertained and i usually keep them in my life for a long long time.

Yeah...it's kinda funny....all it takes is being understood... or is it being tolerated.   Not sure...

All I know...that in finding someone to make me smile from the inside out...it's hard not to compare them to my soulmate...  when he looked at me...i could do no wrong...i was perfect...my silliness was appreciated...my seriousness was appreciated...  And all this brought out so much in him, as well.

I don't know how to end this...a part of me wants to go back...but a part me has to go forward.  Well...the only direction is ahead of me...taking the things i've learned from the past, and enjoying every moment someone special is placed before me.    But, where do you find people like you...where do i find people like me.   lol

I guess that goes back to something i read on Facebook....    stop looking for that person...do what you love...and the one you love will be there waiting for you.

So is it writing classes...photography classes...theatre classes...screenplay writing classes....  I guess so...   It's time to get started...Now's the time!