Setting something free...

They say something like:

Set  someone free, if it comes back, it's yours...if it doesn't, it never was.

It makes a whole lot of sense to me.   And it's what i've chosen to do, with something that my mind knows i should set free, but my heart just won't let go.

I've done it many times in my life...sometimes people came back, but if they take too long, you realize, they really didn't mean that much to you after all.  Hey, and what the heck....if they left, then why do you want them back?   

I once read, that after a break up, men get on with their lives, they date very soon, they party it up,  hanging out with their buddies...looking for all they thought they were missing when they were "attached."   But after a period, they realize what they lost and that's when they start missing and wanting it all to be back the way it was.    It also said that women, will cry, sing the blues, feel absolutely horrible after a breakup.   Then little by little they start to go out, they start to see other people, they start dating.   Then they forget about what they had.    Not feeling horrible anymore...and stronger to go on.  Totally opposite reactions...and i'm sure this can play out in an opposite manner, depending on who broke up the relationship.

You have to wonder...  why is it like this.   I guess it's the man/woman thing...like the book Men are from Mars and Women from Venus...or is it the other way around.   I'm not sure.     

Men and women just don't see things the same.    I think what women need to do is educate themselves on how men really think.   Don't we have those guy friends and our brothers that we hung around with...and knew exactly how they thought.  Well, that's probably how your boyfriend or husband thinks.    Guys too need to educate themselves on how women think.

I've learned a lot with my son.   I think from an emotional standpoint...and although he has a heart of gold and can see outside the box of the typical "guy way of thinking".    I've learned from him.     

I've had friends in my life, that can leave a relationship and just go on.  They seem so strong, the only kind of emotion they have for the one they left behind was nothing, unless the one they left behind did something horrible to them, then it's all hatred and bitterness.   And that's not all of them...but some.   Hey, its hard to get over something when someone wronged you.    

I've also had the friends who can never get over it.. I think I'm more one of those people. I always have to reason, and figure things out...that's just me, not only in relationships, but in how people work and function.    I swear, i should have been a psychologist.   Haha!   but, in a way it's been a good thing, because I can see why people are the way they are...I don't just judge someone because of a certain action, i want to know what brought them to that point.   Even when the most horrible of things have happened, I've done it.   

Anyway...back to setting something free.     I read something the other day on relationships.   It said, if someone wants to go...let them go.    Don't hold on... and both guys and girls do it.   But, setting them free, will in a sense set you free.    It will help you to go out and find things to make you stronger...     Don't dwell on it, although you probably want to scream and cry...do it.... then wipe your eyes...change the playlist on your ipod...to one that makes you happy...and take one step...one baby step, at a time....and go on.   

Then....what's meant to be will be.    Either you'll find something on your path of freedom....or it just might connect that path back to the person who wanted to be free.    

Sometimes, we need a change.   Sometimes we feel smothered.  Sometimes, we aren't seeing things eye to eye.   and freedom from that person is all that we see that brings us hope.    

So, its good sometimes to take a break, or distance yourself for awhile.  Don't panic...know its for the best.    Look at yourself, as if someone else was looking at you and judging your actions and ways.   If you were someone else looking in, what would you think of you?    then if there are things that you aren't liking...are you too demanding, have you lost your desire to look good for yourself, have you gained weight and aren't happy.  Are you grumpy, .... there are so many things that we can become when we become complacent...     And when i say do this, do this with open eyes....some people think they're perfect and have a reason for everything they do....let go of those reasons and become a better you!

Now if you've seen yourself through open eyes....then make a move.  Improve those things that are negatives...start losing weight, be happier, more patient, less demanding...or whatever it is that you're doing, that may have pushed the other person away.   

You'll be a lot happier when you change those things about you.  Because as I always say....Be your best and you'll find the best.   Whether it's a career, a life changing opportunity, a new love....  and hey, it just might bring the old love back.   

I for one...once I get over someone I loved...I can't go back.   Not because of anything...only because I've grown and am not that person who was with the other person before.   It's happened many times in my life...I would be in love, it would end, i'd be sad for awhile....but then after awhile...some tried to come back....but I could never do it again.   Not sure why.... I guess it's the growing and maturing thing.   And maybe seeing things through open eyes...

So...now to the part of "if they come back, they are yours, if not, they never were"

Some times people come into our lives.   That touch the deepest parts of our soul...   and it's hard to let those people go.   Even when they aren't around.    

When we can have our freedom to step out of the situation for awhile...to think about what we really want....  It may be all we need to come back to what we really never wanted to leave...   I've done it with only one person in my life.   Well, maybe 3, lol.   But in totally different situations and points of maturity in my life.   

So I wonder now...where will my decision take me.   Today, it'll take me to the beach...where I feel free, and it's what I love most in Miami.   So when I'm doing what I love most...I'll find what loves me most...waiting for me.   Who knows...it might be my soul mate....because i truly believe in soul mates...cuz i'm leaving one behind as I write....   But I just may find all that I love...the sand between my toes...the wind in my hair...the waves hitting my feet...and smiles from strangers... music in one ear...the sound of the ocean in the other....and then i'll top it off with an empanada de carne and a cup of cafe con leche.    

Yes...I am determined to find...what is meant for me...   And who knows...what I let go of at this moment, just might fly back.  He always has...because this isn't the first time.   Crazy...yeah...maybe we are.   But, when someone special enters your life...it's kinda hard to let go, unless the time comes...and up to this point, the time never came, although we tried...

So here I go....to the beach!   See you there...    Be happy when you have to fly, happiness is what will be the air in your wings to keep flying!