Then...my brain started working...analyzing, as i do just about everything. Then, I felt I had answered too soon.
There are many types of love. I remember those junior high days and the puppy love I felt for a couple guys. You think he's the love of your life and you'll love him forever and a day. I think those fairy tales they read to us when we were little, set us up for our first disappointments with love. We are looking for happily ever after, with boys who usually aren't ready for love. Remember...they say girls mature faster than boys. But, girls in their teens are nowhere near maturity. At least, I know I wasn't.
Then came other types of love. I've always been the one who falls in love too quickly. So, I ended up in relationships where I felt empty. Heck, I married my first husband after knowing him only 4 months. My second husband, a few months longer, him in one town, me in another! We didn't even know each other, how were we going to live happily ever after!
So, as my mind churned and I began analyzing the loves of my life - and I'm not talking about analyzing the guys, but I'm talking the Love itself, that I felt. I realized that I've felt different types of love...desperate love, puppy love, I've been the one to cry because of love, I've made someone cry because of it and I've had unfulfilled, dream like love, emotional love, and I've experienced internet love. Yeah, pretty complicated!
So, then i begin to ask myself. "What is Love" well...now that's the million dollar question. So, here I go, analyzing, trying to figure out what love is to me!
The day after my friend asked me that question, I came back and brought up the question again. Only because I thought I had figured it out. Now, as I think about it, I don't think I figured it out, but I know what I want it to feel like... next time.
I think love is feeling whole. Love is patience. Love is treating each other with kindness. Love is appreciating each other. Love is taking time, whether a few seconds or an entire day, for each other. Love is sharing. Love is ..... Ok..ok, i'm going to stop with all that, because the thing that sticks in my mind most is "love is peace."
Peace in your heart, peace in your home, peace as you leave each other, peace when you're near or far. Plain and simple peace!
Ok, you're probably thinking. "Mona's nuts, what does she mean "Love is peace?" Ok, ok...I know you have to feel the attraction, and feelings of love to be with someone, of course. But I truly believe that for love to last, you have to have peace in your relationship.
There are so many things in our busy busy lives...kids, the bills, work, friends, car repairs, etc., etc. etc. ....and yes, those are all priorities and need to be taken care of. But, can you imagine... loving someone that makes all life's stresses, easy? Now that is peace!
But now.....where does peace come from? I believe peace comes from maturity and patience. We need to have patience and be selective. We have to stop rushing into relationships, and stop moving him or her in on the first feelings of lust! It takes time to know someone, and after awhile, you can make a better decision on whether or not you want to be with that person. If you move someone in too fast, and you don't even know what they think or what comes from their heart...its probably not going to last. Sure you can make babies, and buy a car or house together...but those things won't keep you together. They might keep you under the same roof for awhile, maybe not. But, they will only complicate what you have.
So take your time, next time. If you're in it now...try to find your peace!! It'll make life easier.
As for me... the best advice I was given the last couple of months was "Don't fall in love for 6 months...go on dates, have sex, do whatever you want, have fun...just don't fall in love" (ok my mom's not going to like that last statement about sex, but it's just something told to me by someone, who's advice I appreciate). What I took from his advice, is if I fall in love too quickly, because I'm in desperate need of love, I'll end up feeling empty, again. Hey, been there... done that and I threw all the t-shirts in the trash!
Of course, it's all easier said than done... and the only thing that makes sense to me at this moment...is being my best! And, when I'm my best....I know Mr. Best For Me will stumble upon my path. and who knows...maybe the next thing I'll be writing about is my happily ever after!
Take it easy...don't rush...cuz you just might trip and fall! Have fun...
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