Things Could be Worse...I guess...

I went to an upbeat training session last night.   Walked out of there with awesome energy.

On my way home I knew something was up.  My son had been texting me asking me when I would be home.  He should have been working...or thats what he said when he got out of school

So...on my way home I prepared myself.   The worst he could have done could be getting a tattoo.  The most horrible, could have been getting in trouble with the law.    

I got home.  He was sitting on the bean bag.   I was on the defensive because I thought he hadn't taken his responsibility seriously, by going to work when he had committed himself.   There was no excuse for it.

So, he springs the bomb on me.   A TATTOO.   Wow...

My first reaction...I was so mad.   I couldn't believe he had actually done this.  Although, he's been talking about it for the last 4 years.   My second reaction, total disappointment.   My third reaction, sadness.   

I never wanted him to get a tattoo as a teenager.   My argument was life...and the things I had learned and also realized throughout my life.  I've always been one that goes to extremes in my style, my hair, my desires and actions.     And through this, I realize what I've done and what I could have done, if I would have had more nerve.

I always used the example, based on what I was so into as a teenager, if I had gotten a tattoo, I would have stars, music lyrics, and styles that today I would be ashamed to have on my body.  We usually end up laughing about what my tattoos would be today if I had gotten one at age 16, 17, 18, 19, 20....something different every year.

Once, when he was about 3, my friend was getting a tattoo on her foot.  So I thought, what the heck, I want one too.   So my decision, because it was the most important thing to me, would be my son's name.  But where? ok.... my legs have always been something I was proud of, so on my leg it would go.  On my upper thigh near that cute little beauty mark and people could see it when i wore my short shorts.    I was going to do it.  I was just waiting for my friend to get her's finished.

But then, my little boy, looked up at me and said "Mom, don't get one".   And it was that easy...I didn't have to think twice...I didn't do it.  Only, because my son didn't want me to.    Today, I'm glad I didn't do it.   That beauty mark, has dropped a few centimeters, and in another 25 it would probably be near my knee.  And for as small as I wanted it, today you wouldn't be able to read it.    I have to laugh.    But it's true...

Ok...to each his own.  I love art.  I love expression.   In fact I'm overly expressive.   But, I just didn't think he needed to mark his body with something that he could never change.   He didn't know where life would take him, and some times these things marking us can limit us.   Sad but true.   

It's all about perception.   The person who sees you, will make a judgement in the first few seconds that you are before them.  Ok...I've always been one who said, "heck with what people think"  But, in this day and age...I've realized we always have to be our best. And i'm not saying a tattoo can make you less...but he's just starting life.   He has no idea where it's going to take him.   

He wants to do modeling or would like to try acting.   Tattoos can be hidden by make up sure...but they can also be the factor that makes them choose someone without a tattoo over you and won't consider you for this or any other role.  Why on earth would he want to be labelled.   

What if tomorrow his tattoo is associated with gang members...then what?   He's automatically labelled a gang member?   

My mind goes crazy with what if...sure I over analyze...but that's just me.  

A few years ago, when my nephew died.  My son  wanted a tattoo of my nephew's face.    Awesome, I love nephew and always will.   But, I told him, he didn't have to carry him around on his body.  He would always be in his heart and in his memories.   I know that sometimes we make rash decisions.  And even during the worst moment's of our life, I didn't think a tattoo proved anything.

I tell him, every month or year, when he has a different idea for a tattoo, because they change every few months.  I remind him about the last idea, and mention if he had done the one previously, he would probably regret it.

I was at the checkout lane about an hour ago, looking at a tattoo magazine.  Sure, I think its awesome honestly.  Pretty pictures on pretty girls.  Hot tattoos on hot guys.    But I think about what they'll look like when they get older.  My son is a kid.  His body will change.   What will happen to the pretty picture if he gets thinner or gets big.    

Maybe I'm just a mom trying to protect my son from regrets.  Maybe I'm someone who is glad that I never had the guts to do it.    All I know is throughout his life, all i've tried to do is protect him from the world and the negative influences.    

Like I said...to each his own.  But, when its your baby, it can break your heart.

I guess this is just a step in the process of "cutting the apron strings".  You can't run your children's lives.   You can only try to enforce the positive and hope that they think before they act.   

I guess things could be worse.   But that does not make me happy with what he did.   I just never want to hear that he regrets it.   I tried to shield him from things, but a mother can only do that for so long.

Today...another day...knowing that I've raised a strong son.   But will continue praying that he doesn't follow all the fads..   Clothes you can change...tattoos and piercings will mark you forever.   

But that's just me talking...thinking...and hoping.    No offense to others who have chosen to do this.  Just thinking about my son and wanting only the best for him and hoping he makes choices that never bring regret...