What is it that keeps us attached to things...is it the desire to make it ours, that keeps us hanging on?
There are realizations we must make. Is what we are holding on to, worth holding on to? Do they fulfill us at every moment. Are the small tastes of what we desire enough? Or are the unfulfilled moments what keep us dangling?
The realization of the impossible may tear us away from that desire for awhile...which may seem like moments in the end. But, when something awakens the feelings...when the memories come rushing back...there we are again. Reliving...desiring...what we want, what we had....if only for a moment.
Are bits and pieces of what we desire sufficient to keep us nourished...do those bits and pieces remain to help us go forward until we are again fed in small amounts. The desire...the temptation... of what we crave with every cell of our bodies. from the tips of our fingers and toes to the tips of our hair......a desire so strong, that when we are finally given another taste of what we so strongly ache for, it helps us to go on... if only for a moment.
Although we may try to control these urges...urges that sometimes guide our every step, our every thought, our every breath..it may be impossible. How are ties cut...who is so strong? I, for one, am not. Cutting the ties means the end. I hold on. I capture what can be captured. If only for a moment.
When the experience you had was something beautiful...how can it be so easy to end, how can it be so easy to go on...leaving it in the past? Although, there may have been moments of pain, the beautiful plays on your mind. And reliving those moments is the strongest desire you may have. I am guilty!
I hold on to things..can't let them go. There are moments when I would love to let them fly with the wind. But the majority of moments I want to hold them close and never let them go. Is it an obsession... I do not know. Is it inevitable... to want to cause pain and in the end know you will feel it as well.
Why is it superior to all your strengths...this is something I so often ask myself.
Because of the empty spaces how will it ever fill you. How can you ever be complete if it leaves you feeling so empty. Is empty enough?
Is it something you'd give your very soul for...is it something you would do next to the impossible to hold it dear...in your heart...and for the moment?
Is it my addiction...because I may now know what a drug is to an addict, a drink is to an alcoholic... just a taste, and I can go on until reality slaps me in the face and drops me on the floor......pain filled, knowing it was not enough...and again aching for the next fix.
Just like an addict...I know what should be left in the past should remain there.
Just like an addict...the desire is greater than every strength I thought I had.
Is an almost yours good enough? Or will this leave you almost empty...forever!
Your world...my world...a place where we coincide in space! We fulfill each other's desires for seconds in time...and go on with a pain filled life....waiting till we meet again! Talking in riddles...talking in rhymes of a world only two will know and understand.
Today...just like yesterday...will pave the way for tomorrow. Hopeful....hopeless...in a world filled with pleasure and which always ends in pain!
♥m♥p♥g♥p♥m♥
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